Just For Today
by Vicki Tushingham 1992
Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours
and not expect to get over my child's death,
but instead learn to live with it, just one day at a time.
Just for today I will remember my child's life, not his death,
and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days
and moments we shared.
Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends
who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to.
They truly did not know how.
Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside,
for maybe if I smile a little,
my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.
Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child,
for they are hurting too,
and perhaps we can help each other.
Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt,
for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world
I could have done to save my child from death,
I would have done it.
Just for today I will honor my child's memory
by doing something with another child
because I know that would make my own child proud.
Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship to another bereaved parent,
for I do know how they feel.
Just for today when my heart feels like breaking,
I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving
and the only reason I hurt is because
I had the privilege of loving so much.
Just for today I will not compare myself with others.
I am fortunate to be who I am
and to have had my child for as long as I did.
Just for today I will allow myself to be happy, for I know
that I am not deserting him by living on.
Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did,
my life did go on, and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.
There is no pain that can compare to the loss a child. There was one thing that was really
comforting for me, when my heart was breaking and my arms longed so painfully to
hold him, I closed my eyes and felt the Father's arms around my empty ones.
And I remembered that he went through this too. He knows the horror of the loss.
