Hi there! Comeon in! Pick up a chuckle here and a snicker there, then you can send us your funnies. And keep smilin', God luvs ya! A guy walks into a bar OUCH By Florence Corner, age 10 What was Boaz before Ruth? He was Ruthless. Why did the granny put rollerskates on her rocking chair? Because she wanted to rock & roll. Kristen age 11 & Kelsey age 7 What did the boy do with the Turkey sandwich? He GOBBLED it up. Janee, age 8 Why was the robot sick? It had a computer virus! unknown What gets wetter as it dries? A towel. unknown Sarah: "What is snow?" Christine: "God's dandruff, you silly!" Sarah: "What is rain?" Christine: "Don't ya know anything? It is God's bathwater draining from heaven!" unknown Knock knock. Whose there? Goliath. Goliath who? Goliath down, thou looketh tired. Jarah age 11 Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarter-back. Don't Know What is a baby's motto? If at first you don't succeed cry, cry again. Mikala, age 9 Knock knock. Whos there? Bananna. Knock knock. Whos there? Bananna. Knock knock. Whos there? Bananna. Knock knock. Whos there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say bannanna again? Eric age 6 What building has the most stories? The library!!! Elizabeth, age 9 Why didn't the dime jump off the mountain after the nickel did? Because the dime had more cents! Damon Georgalos Why was Michael Jordon always sleeping? Because he is on the Dream team. Robert, age 10 A duck walks into a 7-11, jumps up on the counter and says to the clerk: "Hey Mac, got any grapes?" The man behind the counter says:"No, we don't sell grapes here." "Okay" says the duck and leaves. The next day the duck comes back and asks again:"Hey Mac, got any grapes?" The man says:"NO, I told you yesterday, we don't sell grapes here." The next day the duck comes back again: "Hey Mac, got any grapes?" Now the man is REALLY angry. "I'm not telling you again, WE DON"T SELL GRAPES HERE, and if you come back again, I'm gonna nail your little duck feet to this counter!" As the duck is walking out, he says: "Geez, Mac, you don't have to yell, I was only asking!" The duck comes back on the fourth day, jumps on the counter and says: "Hey Mac, got any nails?" The clerk says: "NO! We don't sell nails here!" The duck says: "COOL, Got any grapes?" Paul 13 and Alex 6 Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell station. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new one! Jamie Lee age 9 What did the robber say whem he was robbing a glue factory? "Stick 'em up! Dana age 10 1/2 Why did the rat cross the road? Because the cat was chasing it. Jenny Newcomb Age 8 Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was the dog's day off. Rebecca Piazza age 8 Knock Knock Who's there? Lion Lion who? You better go Lion the couch you look tired! Sarah: Which hand do you write with? Your right or your left? Anna: My right hand. Sarah: That's funny, I write with a pencil. Sarah Blanzy age 11 What do a grape and a chicken have in common? They are both purple... except for the chicken! Tara Age 24 What do you say when you answer a bananaphone? "Yellow?" How does a Gorilla make a conference call? A bunch of bananaphones. Robby Smith, age 6 What did the little firecracker say to the big firecracker? "Hi Pop!" What the the big chimney say to the little chimney? "Cut that out. You're too young to smoke." What did the math book say to the reading book? "I've got problems." Jillian, Age 5 How are rugrats like ink? They're kept in a pen. Tyler Murphy, age 7 Knock knock Who's there? Annie Annie Who? Annie - body see my hat? Knock-knock Who's there? Telly. Telly who? Telly-phone is ringing. Knock -knock Who's there? You. You who? You hoo, to you too. What do you call a cat who eats lemon? A sourpuss What do you call a dog on a beach? A hot-dog. Elizabeth Cruz, age 10 What do chickens like to drink? Yoke-a Cola! Melanie, aged 6 1/2 Knock Knock. Who's there? Olive? Olive who? Olive You Amanda 5 years Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Don't cry it's just a joke. Justin 11 years How do you fix a broken tomatoe? Tomatoe paste. Jennifer Vargas, age 29 Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was chicken. Luis Vargas Teacher: Natalie, use the word afficiate in a sentence. Natalie: The man got sick because of A FISH HE ATE!! Unknown What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? Close the door i am dressing! What has a tail and no body? A Quarter. Jessica 8 years old I say, waiter! There are some coins in my soup!? Well, you said that you wanted some change in your meals! What is a sausage dog? A hot dog without bread! How does an octopus go into battle? Fully-armed. Jordan Hickman age 9 Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide! Stephen McKitrick Age 11 Have you heard about the about the new restaurant on the moon? It has great food, but no atmosphere! Girl: My dog doesn't have a nose. Boy: How does he smell? Girl: Terrible!! Alex McKitrick Age 8 Why do chickens lay eggs? Because if they dropped them, they would break. Lindsey Grant 8 Why did the turtle cross the road? Because it was the chickens day off! Sarah Blanzy age 10 Why are dinosaurs large, green, and scaly? Because if it's small, white, and smooth it will be a tictac. Marianne-12 years old What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Nothing, except plums are purple. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants stampeding? "Here come the elephants." What did Jane say when she saw the elephants Stampeding? "Here come the plums.&" She was colorblind. Brian and Linda Farris Knock Knock. Who's there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you would open the door! Amber Frazier, age 10 What happens when you thow a red rock into a blue sea ? It gets wet. Whats a mexican weather report? Chilly today hot talmaly. Why did the kid throw a bucket of butter out the window? To see a butterfly. Why is the vet always busy on rainy days? Becuse it rains cats and dogs. Britney age 10 What would you have if you put ducks and jacks in a box? A box of quackerjacks. Amanda age 9 Why did the boy through a bucket of water out of the window ? He wanted to see a water a water fall. Britney age 9 What did one wall say to the other? Meet you at the corner. Why did the automobiles go to sleep? There all ways tired. Amanda age 10 Why did the man cross the road? To get to the chicken on the other side! Kelly age 9 What did the Cowboy say to the pencil? DRAW Partner! Knock Knock Whos There? Jordy Jordy Who? Jordy eat your dinner!? Sarah Johnson Age 11 Why don't people play poker in the Jungle? Because it's full of cheetahs. Brandy age 10 Knock knock. Who's there? Police. Police who? Police let me in. Dixie age 12 What happened when the cow jumped over the fence? Udder destruction. Sarah age 7 1/2 Why did you throw the clock out the window? To see time fly! Cassidy Teague , Age 5 [an error occurred while processing this directive]