Gender Terminology

These are words and terms used in the trans/gay world and their medical treatments. I must warn that some are pretty vulgar but I truly believe that we need to stay on top of these and listen for them in our kids and their circle of friends.

A

Adrenarche

Early puberty when you may grow pubic hair, have body odor, feel sexual attraction/desire, and have acne.

Agender

Someone who doesn't identify with any gender.

Anal Fissure

A cut in the skin of the anus. Anal fissures can cause sharp pain during defecation or during anal sex. Also called rectal fissure, anorectal fissure, and anal ulcer.

Androgynous

Appearing neither male nor female. May have characteristics of both, neither, or in between.

Androphobia

Fear of men.

Antiandrogen

A drug that reduces testosterone and its effects in the body. Commonly taken as part of gender reassignment.

Asexual/Asexuality/Ace

An umbrella term for identities on a spectrum. People who identify as asexual may have no sexual desire or do not experience sexual attraction.

Assigned female at birth/AFAB

Born female.

Assigned male at birth/ABAB

Born male.

Autoerotic

Turned on by yourself or something you think of in your own mind.

Autoerotic Asphyxiation

Strangling or choking yourself for sexual arousal. It is very dangerous. Hundreds of young people die of autoerotic asphyxiation every year.

B

BDSM

A term for a practices including Bondage, Domination/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism.

Bi erasure/Invisibility

To ignore the existence of bisexuality.

Bigender

Identifying with both genders.

Bilateral mastectomy

The surgical removal of both breasts. Performed for gender transformation. See "mastectomy," "chest surgery," or “top surgery.”

Binarism

Based on the fact that there are only two genders: man and woman.

Binder/Chest binding

Wrapping breasts in order to flatten it and create a more masculine appearance.

Biphobia/Bimisia

Negative opinions about bisexual people. The suffix misia means hate.

Bisexual

Attraction to either sex.

Body Autonomy

You decide what happens to your body without outside influence or control.

Bottom surgery

A general term for a variety of genital surgeries.

Butch

A masculine lesbian.

C

Castration

Removal of the testicles.

Ceterosexual

Being sexually attracted to people who are not straight.

Chemical castration

Injecting progestin into the scrotum to decrease sexual desire and arousal. Sometimes sex offenders can be ordered to be chemically castrated. Also used in gender transition.

Chest surgery/Chest reconstruction surgery/Top Surgery

Reducing or removing breasts and changing the location of the nipples.

Chosen name

Using a name that is different from a their birth/given name.

Chromosomes

The genetic material.
XX female chromosomes
XY male chromosomes

Cis man/Cisgender man

Born male and is male.

Cis woman/Cisgender woman

Born female and is female.

Cisgender

You are the sex you were born as.

Cisnormativity

Assuming that being straight is the norm.

Cissexism

Believing being straight is natural and normal.

Clitoridectomy

Removal of the external clitoris. Also genital mutilation.

Closet

Not sharing your LGBTQ+ status.

Coitophobia

Fear of vaginal sex.

Coming out/Coming out of the closet

Sharing your LGBTQ+ status.

Con-dam/ConDam

An OTC latex or nitrile glove that is cut so that it can be used as both a dam and a condom to protect against the STDs.

Cross-dressing

When someone wears clothing associated with the opposite gender.

Cyberstalking

Tracking and following someone online in a threatening way.

D

Deadnaming

Calling a trans person by a name they no longer use.

Demisexual

Only attracted to person after they form a close emotional connection.

Dental dam

Thin, square of latex to help prevent spreading of STDs when placed over the vulva or anus during oral sex.

Domestic partnership

A long-term relationship of two unmarried people living together.

Drag

A performance that exaggerates gender expression. For art, entertainment, or activism. Drag typically reflects the opposite sex.

Drag King

A female drag performer exaggerating male behaviors.

Drag Queen

A male drag performer exaggerating female behaviors.

E

Enby

Phonetic spelling of “NB,” a short for nonbinary.

Endosex

When your genitals, chromosomes, and hormones are the same as sex.

Endosexism

Belief that being "endosex" is natural and normal.

Erotophobia

Fear of the erotic.

Estradiol

A type of estrogen taken for gender hormone treatment/replacement.

Eunuch

A man whose testicles and/or penis have been removed.

F

Female

The sex with physical/physiological characteristics, such as a XX chromosomes. As a legal sex/gender on birth certificate and other official documents.

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)/Female circumcision

Removing part or all of the clitoral hood, clitoris, or vulva. In some cases, the vulva is sewn together to preserve virginity.

Female-to-Male trans(FTM)-(F2M)

A female that transitions to a male. A transgender man.

Femme

A queer women associated with a queer gender expression that’s considered feminine.

Fetishize/fetishization

Making someone as an object of sexual desire based on an aspect of their identity or appearance.

Finger Cot

A small latex glove that rolls over one finger to cover cuts and open wounds. Sometimes known as finger condoms.

Fisting

Putting several fingers or a hand into the vagina or anus of a sex partner.

Front Hole

Trans men and nonbinary people use this to describe their anatomy instead of vagina.

Frottage/Dry humping

Sexual body rubbing.

FTM (F2M)

A woman who transitions from Female to Male.

G

Gaff

A garment designed to hold a man’s genitals tucked to look flatter in the groin.

Gay

People attracted to the same sex.

Gender

Until the 1950s, the idea of differentiating between sex and gender was completely foreign to the medical and psychological communities. After all, aside from extremely rare instances, every human being has either two X chromosomes, and is therefore biologically female, or an X and a Y chromosome, and is therefore biologically male. It was not until the past decade or so that a distinction between sex and gender became popularized. Popular culture and postmodern psychology, however, do not change the fact that human beings are either XX or XY. No amount of hormone therapy or surgery can change that fact. (Got Questions)

Gender affirming care

Medical care that is specific to people who identify as transgender. Including hormone therapy, gender surgery, referrals, resources, and support groups.

Gender affirming surgery/procedures

Surgery or medical procedures on sex organs or breast removal/implants.

Gender assignment

The sex your born with.

Gender/Sex binary

Man/woman or male/female.

Gender conforming

The belief that there are only two genders.

Gender Diverse

An identity that differs from the sex they are born with.

Gender Dysphoria

A psychological diagnosis listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. A discomfort about your body. Very common in the years of puberty. Kids almost always grow out of it when hormones settle down.

Gender Euphoria

Feelings of joy or excitement that people experience shortly after reassignment surgery.

Gender-expansive

Someone with a more flexible gender identity than a typical gender.

Gender Expression

How gender is shown to the outside world through the way a person looks or acts. It may include clothing, mannerisms, communication style and interests, among other things.

Gender fluidity/Gender-fluid

Ongoing changing of gender identity or expression.

Gender identity

The feelings of being male, female, neither or some combination of both.

Gender or Sex Marker

The legal designation of sex/gender on official records, such as your birth certificate, school records, or health insurance.

Gender Modality

The relationship between your gender identity and sex you were born with.

Gender Nonbinary

An identity outside of the norm of man/woman.

Gender Nonconforming

Not conforming to gender expression norms.

Gender Normative

Someone that conforms to normal feminine and masculine behavior.

Gender Norms

How normal men and women think, behave, and move through the world.

Gender Pronouns/Personal pronouns

Pronouns used instead of the usual Mr. or Mrs. etc...

Gender roles

Normal behavior and relationships for men and women.

Gender Scripting

The expectation to adopt attitudes, behaviors, and preferences considered appropriate for their sex.

Gender Stereotype

Beliefs about the way boys/men or girls/women are supposed behave.

Gender-affirming hormone therapy

Taking estrogen, testosterone or puberty blockers to change or stop development of sexual characteristics.

Genderqueer

To experience gender in a non-normative way.

Genital reconstruction surgery (GRS)

Surgery on the genitals as part of gender affirming care.

Genophobia

Fear of sex.

Girl Dick

A word men use to describe their anatomy in place of penis.

Gymnophobia

Fear of nudity.

Gynophobia

Fear of women.

H

Harness/strap-on

Garments that hold a packer, dildo, or other sex toy against your body. Some are worn like underwear or jock straps. Others may go around other parts of your body, like your thigh.

Hedonism

The belief that self-pleasure is the most important thing.

Heteronormativity

Belief that straight is the norm.

Heterosexism

The belief that heterosexuality is the natural, normal way.

Homophobia

"Fear" or hatred of people who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

Homosexual

Being attracted only to people of the same gender/sex.

Hyper-femininity

The exaggeration of gender-stereotyped feminine behavior.

Hyper-masculinity

The exaggeration of gender-stereotyped masculine behavior.

Hypersexual

Someone has a higher sex drive or more interest in sex than is considered normal.

Hyposexual

Someone has less a lower sex drive, or less interest in sex than is considered normal.

I

Incest

1 sexual intercourse between persons so closely related that they are forbidden by law to marry
2 the statutory crime of such a relationship

Inclusive language

Language written so that all sexes, genders, and gender identities are included.

Infibulation

The most severe form of female genital mutilation. It includes removing the outside clitoris and labia, and sewing the opening of the vagina closed.

Internalized Homophobia

Fear of being homosexual or self-loathing for being homosexual.

Intersex

An umbrella term to describe people born with defects in reproductive anatomy, of both sexes.

Intersex Genital Mutilation (IGM)

Genital surgeries on intersex infants and youth to make their bodies to fit one sex.

L

Lesbian

A woman who’s sexually or romantically attracted to other women.

LGBTQ+

An acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer and/or questioning. The + is to include additional identities.

M

Male

The sex associated with physical/physiological characteristics, such as male genitalia and XY chromosomes. As a legal marker of sex on official documenats.

Male-To-Female Trans (MTF) (M2F)

A man who transitions from male to female.

Merkin

A wig for the pubic area.

Metoidioplasty

A medical procedure that creates a penis on female anatomy. May or may not include urethral lengthening to facilitate the ability to urinate standing up.

Misgender

Referring to someone with wrong gender pronouns, name.

Morning Wood

Slang for having an erection when waking up.

Muffing

Using your fingers to penetrate the canal where the testes descend. A term most often used by trans women.

Multigender

Identifying with multiple genders, either at the same moment or over time.

Ménage à trois

Three people in a sexual encounter. Also called a threesome.

N

Necrophilia

When a person has sex with or becomes sexually aroused by a dead body.

Neopronouns

Pronouns other than the normal she, he, or they.

Non-op/Non-operative

Transgender people who haven’t had gender surgery.

Nonbinary

Someone whose gender ID goes beyond that of female and male.

O

Omnisexuality

1: sexual in many or unlimited ways
2: of, relating to, or characterized by sexual desire or attraction that is not limited to people of a particular gender identity or sexual orientation : pansexual

Orchiectomy

Surgical removal of one or both testicles.

Out/Out of the Closet

When a person’s LGBTQ+ status is known to others.

Outercourse

Sexual activity that doesn’t include vaginal or anal sex.

Outing

Disclosing someone's sexual orientation or gender status without their consent.

P

Pack-and-play/Packer

An object that’s used to create the appearance of a bulge at the groin.

Pangender

Identifying with all genders.

Pansexual

Having sexual or romantic attraction to people of "all" genders.

Paraphilia

A sex act that is needed for sexual arousal, but isn’t socially normal or acceptable.

Pedophilia

1: sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object
2: a psychiatric disorder in which an adult has sexual fantasies about or engages in sexual acts with a prepubescent child

Penectomy

The surgical removal of the penis to as part of gender surgery.

Phallic

Shaped like a penis.

Phallophobia

Fear of the penis.

Phalloplasty

Surgery in which a penis is created on a female from a her existing genital tissue. A skin graft from another part of the body, usually the wrist, thigh, or side.

Pitching a tent

Slang for having an erection.

Polyamory

Having sexual or romantic relationships with more than one person at a time.

Q

Queer

An umbrella term that refers to a variety of abnormal sexual/romantic and gender identities.

Questioning

Questioning or exploring your sexual/romantic orientation or gender identity.

R

Rimming (rim job)

Using your mouth to pleasure someone’s anus.

Role-play(ing)

Acting out a sexual fantasy with a partner.

Romantic orientation

Genders a person is romantically attracted to. People may have a romantic orientation that’s different than their sexual orientation.

S

S & M (Sadomasochism)

The use of domination and/or pain for sexual stimulation. The Sadist dominates/inflicts pain. The Masochist is submissive/receives pain.

Sex

A male or female.

Sex assignment

Biological sex. Born female or male. The sex that appears on the person’s birth certificate.

Sex positive

Embracing sex, sexuality, and sexual expression as a natural, positive part of life that can be defined, embodied, and explored without shame or judgement.

Sex-negative

Believing that sex and sexuality are bad or dangerous.

Sexophobia

Fear of sex/sexuality.

Sexual identity

Your understanding of your own sex, gender, sexual orientation, and sexual preferences.

Sexual Norms

Society’s expectations regarding sex and sexuality. Things that are considered sexually normal.

Sexual orientation

People may be attracted to men, women, both or neither.

Sexual preference

People, activities, or other things that you like, sexually.

Sheer Glyde Dam

A brand of dental dam. Dental dams are thin, square pieces of latex that help prevent the spread of STDs when placed over the vulva or anus during oral sex.

Skoliosexual/scoliosexual

Being sexually attracted to people who are not cisgender. Also known as ceterosexual.

Slut shame

When someone criticizes others for expressing themselves in extreme sexual ways.

Statutory Rape

Legally, sexual contact between an adult and a minor.

Stealth

When a trans person chooses not to share their gender modality, transgender experience, or gender history.

Stealthing

When a condom is removed during sex without the other person’s knowledge or consent.

Strap-on

A dildo that can be attached to a person to use for oral sex.

Strapless

A word that trans women use to describe their anatomy instead of penis.

Stud

A Black masculine or butch lesbian.

T

TGNCNB+

Trans, Gender Nonconforming, Nonbinary, and other identities that fall outside of the gender binary.

Thelarche

The point of puberty when breasts begin to develop.

Top surgery

Gender surgery for reducing/removing breasts, implanting breasts, and/or changing the location of the nipples.

Trans Mentor

A trans person who provides support or advice to another trans person.

Transfeminine

Male at birth but have a feminine gender identity and/or feminine gender expression.

Transgender/Trans

Transgender or gender diverse, is an adjective used to describe someone whose gender identity differs from their sex.

Transgender Man

A man who was born female.

Transgender Woman

A woman who was born male.

Transition

Choosing new personal, social, medical, legal, or other changes for life.

Transmasculine

Female at birth but have a masculine gender identity and/or masculine gender expression.

Transphobia/Transmisia

The perception that someone fears or hates someone that is trans. The suffix misia means hate.

Tribadism

Sex that involves two females rubbing their vulvas/clitorises together.

Tucking

Tucking away the testicles and penis (usually with the help of a gaff or tight underwear) in order to create the appearance of a smooth, bulge-less groin.

Two-spirit/2S

Used by some Indigenous/First Nations/Native American people to broadly describe Indigenous ways of being trans. Two spirit people may identify exclusively as two spirit, or they may describe their identities in multiple ways: for example, as a two-spirit gay transgender man.

V

Vaginectomy

Surgery that removes the vagina as part of gender transition. Often, with a hysterectomy.

Vaginoplasty

A gender procedure in which a vagina is constructed from existing tissues.

Vocal surgery

Surgery to change the pitch of a person’s voice, often to create a more feminine sounding voice for trans women.

X

XX Chromosomes

Biologically female
Individuals having two X chromosomes (XX) are female

XY Chromosomes

Biologically male
Individuals having one X chromosome and one Y chromosome (XY) are male